Internet Community Classifications

written by NerdByte

Even if you don't know it, you are being classified into a certain class of internet users. Read our list of these internet community classifications and see which one you are:

Someone who maintains a website and thinks just because they have their own website on Geocities that they are Web Developer Elite and doesn't know what they are doing (most of the time)

Warning Signs:

• frequent use of copy & paste scripts
• frequent visits to graphics template sites
• strange or very long URL

Web Designer

More advanced than your typical webmaster, focuses more one the graphical end of publishing and editing sites, often uses already made scripts because they know little about programming

Warning Signs:

• has latest graphics program
• ability to notice specific details in pictures, scenario and other surroundings
• always playing around with color, shapes

Web Developer

Knows all types of server side and client side programming, isn't as great with graphics as the web designer is, but gets by

Warning Signs:

• frequent use of notepad, visual basic, or any other program editing software
• visits copy and paste sites to submit their work and modify other peoples scripts to see what they can make them do

Chat Guru

Uses their internet connection solely for chat, message boards and other types of communication programs. Chat Gurus often do browse a website, but often find themselves circulating around topics of talk. Most use multiple screen names , have more than one instant message program, and often use multiple email addresses. Most do not fully understand the concepts of the internet and are more likely to be victims of viruses and computer malfunctions. Married or coupled chat gurus are more likely to have an "internet affair" or occasional flirtations as the internet allows you to be anonymous and enjoy a fantasy world.

Warning Signs:

• computer often crashes because of AIM, MSN chat, Yahoo, ICQ, running at the same time
• when friends call, chat guru often tells friend "why don't you just AIM me??"
• chat gurus will have an argument with there better half in a chat room, even though they are in the same house to avoid getting up or raising ones voice

Adult Porn Webmaster

Basically a webmaster but designs adult pornographic websites for a living. most of their pictures comes from other adult websites, and are slapped together on a page then charge visitors for entry. the adult porn webmaster expresses no real talent, except for the art of copy and pasting. not to be confused with actual adult web designers and developers who create their own
content and take their own pornographic pictures.

Warning Signs:
 

• site hosed on Geocities or some other type of free hosting provider before the provider finds out about the site
• a "slapped together" site that screams help me
• often bragging about the $42 dollars and 37 cents they make each month from the website

Work From Home Fool
 

Has a website that tells you how to make $1,000s of dollars per week off the internet. their sites usually contain no actual content and are a "teaser: for a book, product, or service you can do from home. the work from home fool can also describe someone who frequently tries work from home internet opportunities. most likely to be victims of pyramid scams.

Warning Signs:

• gets overly exited about this "new" make millions from home opportunity they just found which was basically the same technique they found a week ago, only a new url, new content and new gimick
• will not stop bothering you about how you should be sitting on your ass and "watching the dollars roll in" instead of your normal daytime job

Copy & Paste Kiddie

A step below webmaster because the copy & paste kiddie is all about copy and pasting while the webmaster actually tries to learn. this classification also borderlines the "content thief" (see below) but visits free sites that give permission to use scripts and graphic templates. what you see on their sites is never their own.

Warning Signs:
 

• 100 URLs of copy and paste sites and graphic template sites in their favorites folder
• if you read their source, you will see more than 3 credits to scripts that have been made by other people, or "thank you" links spread across the pages
• when you notice that the logo they use just happens to be Microsofts

Content Thief

Someone who steals other people content or graphics and uses them without permission. this is the worst of the web. they don't care who put sweat and tears into the work, instead of making their own, they completely copy it. this also counts for people who knowingly steal bandwidth

Warning Signs:

• graphic on site is one you seen from another site the other day
• comment copyright tags left in code that the content thief is too stupid to remove
• you've known the guy for years and know he doesn't have near the talent as what he pasted on his site

Paranoid User
 

Someone who has every protection utility available running on their computer; firewalls, router, anti-virus. this type of classification can be described as someone who is in constant fear that someone is monitoring them online, or trying to hack them or can even see them.

Warning Signs:

• firewall software is constantly running; as a matter of fact its the only thing they do on the computer is monitor it
• sort of schizophrenic behavior when the red blinking thing in Norton AntiVirus starts flashing
• 9-1-1 has blocked them due to too many phone calls of "Bill Gates is after me"

Affiliate Idiot

Has banners and affiliate programs striped all over their pages believing that some type of income will generate from them, even though their site gains less than 200 visitors a month. most affiliate idiot only start a website solely for affiliate ad profit. they are also webmasters.

Warning Signs:

• browser crashes from pop up ads each time you enter their site
• banners are so bad that the page looks like a giant puzzle

File Protectee

This is the type of classification that professionals like to laugh at. No matter how much you tell this class otherwise, they are strong hearted into believing that their artwork, files or content can be protected 100% from content thieves.
 

Warning Signs:
 

• no right clicks scripts on every page that say something like "No copying from my site!"
• copyright notices on the top, bottom, and middle of every page.
• frequent posts on message boards asking how to "disable print screen" and "view source"